ACHA!!!

achagurl

BLOG LEAVE ...

hahanapin ko muna sarili ko... pasensiya na... distansya muna si boreche.

achagurl

Suki na rin ako sa mga interviews. Sana nga lang album launching ang dahilan ng interview na un at hindi ang isang posisyon sa trabaho. Yung iba, ndi na ko pinabalik, ung iba naman, pinabalik balik pero napunta rin sa wala (charge it to experience na lang), ung iba naman isang paspasan pasok kagad. Malas nga ata talaga ako pagdating sa trabaho- pakiramdam ko kasi ang dami dami kong gustong gawin, ang dami dami kong gustong hanapin-- ung nga lang hindi ko mahanap at hindi ko magawa...

Pero kung meron man siguro akong ipagpapasalamat sa mga interviews na un- siguro nga ang experience na makilala ang sarili ko. Nung unang graduate ako, medyo plastik pa ang mga sagot ko- pakiramdam ko lagi akong nagsusuot ng maskara. Pero ng tumagal tagal na rin, nagiging kumportable na rin ako sa pagsuot ng maskara- hanggang sa naisip ko- naging parte na rin ng mukha kong yon ang sinusuot kong maskara, ndi ko na pala siya sinusuot- mukha ko na pala talaga siya.

Marami rami na rin sa king naibatong mga tanong na medyo nahirapan akong sagutin. Ung bang, todo tingin ka sa mata ng interviewer mo pero nung tinanong niya ung tanong niyang sobra sa pagka cerebral- bigla na lang umikot ang mata mo sa dingding at kisame para doon hanapin ang sagot. Minsan kasi, ang weird ng mga naiisip ng interviewer, ndi mo rin alam kung may rason ba ang mga tanong nila o talagang gusto lang nilang magkalkal ng pagkatao mo.

eto ang ilan sa mga tanong na medyo tumatak sa utak ko...

1. KUNG AAKYAT KA SA MOUNT FUJI... will u take it slower or faster?

Answer: slower po... just to seize the moment. mas maaapreciate mo ang tuktok pag nahirapan ka paakyat... at tsaka isa pa, ang hirap pag dating mo kagad sa tuktok-- kailangan mong matutuhan kung papano bumaba...

2. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "OBSSESSIVE COMPULSIVE" AND "RESPONSIBLE"? SINO KA SA DALAWA?

Answer: mmm... ung OC po parang OA. Ung responsible, ginagawa lang niya ung sa tingin niya dapat niyang gawin. Pero wala naman pong masama kung magiging OC ka habang nagiging responsable ka e...

3. IKAW BA TO?

(titig na titig sa picture ko sa resume tapos biglang titig sa mukha ko)

Answer: Opo-- ako yan-- wag na kayo magduda-- medyo photogenic lang ako kaya ganyan.. ahehehehe

4. IF YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE IN THE PAST- where would it be.

Answer: College life po. Miss ko na po kasi ang video cam...

5. Q: WHAT MAKES YOU MAD?

A: if i feel that life is unfair...

Q: ANO ANG "UNFAIR" PARA SA YO?

A: wasted efforts

Q: How can you say na wasted ang efforts mo

A: < pag po... amm... ano po... am... >

Hay,ilan pa kayang mga tanong ang maririnig ko sa buhay ko na mahihirapan akong sagutin... Mmmm...

achagurl

MGA ILAN SA KAYAMANAN NA NAKITA KO SA HARAP NG COMPUTER MONITOR...

(kinuha ko mula kay bahista- nagulat ako kasi nakalagay pala sa photos niya yung inedit ko na gitara niya)

(nakita ko naman ito sa primary photo ni lheng. Regalo ko to sa kanya nung birthday niya...)

(eto naman si Poy, hulog ni LORD sa kin... mahirap iexplain pero magkasama kami niyan sa HIRAP ng post graduate.. hayan.. nabuo na rin ang tabulas niya... hulaan niyo kung sino nakaimpluwensiya?)

Ngayon alam niyo na kung bakit ako adik sa computer?!

May katwiran naman diba?!

achagurl

Gusto ko lang mag thank you kay BIG GUY in da SKY sa lahat ng blessings na binibigay NIYA sa kin. Kahit na maraming problema ang pasan ni boreche ngayon, ayos lang dahil alam kong hindi NIYA ko papabayaan. Nasa loob man ako ngayon ng isang giyera laban sa mga kasinungalingan ni satanas,  masaya ako dahil pinili NIYA ako para manatili sa pakikipaglaban. Mahirap maging sundalo para sa KANYA, pero nagkakaroon ng "significance" ang lahat ng problema, giyera at pakikipaglaban dulot ng lubos ng PAGMAMAHAL NIYA.

"As Christians, our fulfillment in this life depends not on our skills to AVOID life's problems, but on our ability to APPLY God's specific solutions to those problems..." (Search for Significance by Robert S. Mc Gee)

achagurl

Many people are asking why am I leaving my first job. The reason is very simple, I am NOT happy anymore. I know it is a lousy reason, very unprofessional indeed, but I do not care anymore of losing my reputation or being connoted as unprofessional, all i want now is to be happy. I may have disappointed many people and I should say I have disappointed myself either. I am not even sure if I will find the contentment and happiness on my next job, but I dont care now. I just want the way out of this pressure. I just want to let loose.

I remembered reading this article about college students who float around after graduation. I have decided till then that I will not be that kind of student. I will not suffer from twenty-something's miscarriages. I promised myself to pursue what I want, try so hard not to float, stand for my decisions and look for positive things on what life has to offer on my way.

However, things changed when I set foot on the real world of bosses and supervisors. I float. I wander. I should have quitted my job since the fourth week, but because I have this idealistic attitude of being optimistic, I stayed. I didnt want to disappoint other people, my family, friends and colleagues, and even myself. I thought if I accept the reality of unhappiness, I am a quitter. So I move on till the fifth and the sixth week, then, little by little, I started counting the clock, I started doing delaying tactics to kill the time, I started being irresponsible, incompetetive and unprofessional. Worst of all, I started feeling empty within.

One of my friends told me that I should not put limitations on myself. It means I should always strive for the better and never give up the job but I started taking it as I should not think of this job as my only option, this job is not my limitation, there is other job than this. You see, at the back of my mind I wasn't into this job anymore but at first, I pushed  the thought aside believing that if I entertain the thought of resigning, I have put limitations on myself, I am a loser and a quitter.

I also realized that pushing the thought of resigning was, in a way, an escape to start another fight. Since giving up on this job means another chapter of being unemployed, job hunting and self-finding. I know life after resigning was darker and steeper but I started seeing it as a better option and bigger challenge rather than seeing it as punishment on being a quitter.

I realized that dreaming of contentment on my first job is very very very unrealistic! I realized that my promise not to float after graduation is not my destiny.  I may not like it this way, but it is the truth. I should accept that I have to learn the dance of yuppies in a hard way (and I often called myself a dancer- what a shame!).

Even if this resignation that I am talking about is not yet officially signed by my supervisor, I remain firm on decision. Now- am I being childish? Maybe. But I dont care now so long as I step out of that trap and move on to whatever forrest will I be in- maybe next time will be a better forrest than this..

And I hope.. this will be the last time I will ever excuse myself about my resignation. (if ever there will be another person who will ask me about this, I will just refer them to this entry. ahihiihi)

Well then, goodbye to my first job. I just hope you'll activate the resignation faster. I am excited already to move out.